Eating with (really bad) aphthous ulcers

Aphthous stomatitis or mouth ulcers (aka canker sores) can be be a real pain in the ass, well, mouth – those 5-20% of people occasionally suffering from it know what I’m talking about. Especially if one happens to be at a spot your teeth rub against, or as it is currently the case for me, if a bunch of ’em cover pretty much your whole throat making swallowing food quite uncomfortable or downright painful.

Here’s a little gem that took me decades to figure out, even though it really is quite simple if you think about it: Instead of eating regular food, just switch to drinking your nutritional basics for a couple days. Bodybuilder and professional athletes have been doing it for decades to increase their daily intake and it works just fine for them. Lately, there’s even Soylent marketed to regular folks, but it’s basically not much different from so called meal replacement shakes that have been around since the last century.

Even though I currently can’t even eat cereal or soaked and soft muesli (granola for you american folks) without pain, let alone anything even mildly spicy or somehow granular grainy, downing a big jug of my own soylent-like mixture was no issue at all.

If you’re not really into the whole nutritional science, just go and order yourself some Soylent – it’s basically the one-size-fits-most of meal replacements. If you don’t live in the US or can’t be bothered to wait for a shipment (as probably you found this article because your throat/mouth/whatever hurts right now), go to your nearest supplier for bodybuilder or sports shop and get yourself meal replacement shakes and a shaker. Preferably a couple flavors, since you’ll be eating/drinking pretty much nothing else once you notice the distinctive lack of pain. And if they don’t have any pre-mixed meal replacement powders, just get some protein powder and something like (really finely ground) oatmeal or another form of carbs, like Maltodextrin. Put some water and/or milk in your shaker, add the right amount of powder, mix it up and your meal is ready.

Even if it’s unfamiliar and odd at first, you can live of that just fine – you’ll feel full and if you add some multivitamins, you’re body should have everything it needs to sustain you for another half a day or so, until the next shake. Hell, for some people out there it will probably be a better diet than they’re currently having.

Once your ulcers are gone, just switch back to your normal eating habits. Or stay with Soylent if you decide to actually enjoy it.

Maybe this will help some currently miserable folks out there – it sure did for me. You can thank me in the comments…

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